“Quit complaining, these people aren't being paid.”
That drivel is shoved at anyone who has a problem with a piece of open source software, and dares to point it out in a free support setting. It comes in a billion forms and is close friends with another foul concept called assumed knowledge, the idea that because something is free you are due no explanation of its workings.
My complaint is with open source developers generally. There's this huge attitude of entitlement that I see and would like to expose and annihilate. Just because the software is free, the developers feel they are entitled to a complaint free experience. This does not flow logically. The fact that most people miss this and other simple logical consequences derived from their own stated axioms is not surprising, logic hasn't been a part of American education for quite some time, and even when it was, it was a college level math adjunct.
It's simple. If you offer something up, you've accepted the responsibility for it. Kinda like burden of proof, if you make the claim, you have to back it up. This applies to software because your time is not a donation in any real sense. No act is selfless, or occurs in a vacuum. The primary motivation for development of software is pride and vanity. Development is an exercise of vanity, not charity. So cherish the thanks that you get but don't scorn the complaints as if they're somehow out of place for being made. As if because you didn't charge a fee to the complainer, no one has a right to point out issues and ask for repair.
If you try to get your name famous with software, you're going to get complaints, and since your goal was pride (else why put your name on it) then you need to see there is a price to be paid. You have a responsibility to live up to your claims. That claim being, in case you were wondering, the problem you wrote the software to solve. If it does not absolutely solve the problem, then you are going to get legitimate complaints. As opposed to complaints like “it wont do my laundry”.
In my opinion true open source software is actually quite rare. How much of it out there is truly public domain? Most of it seems restricted. Most software called “open source” usually just operates on a vanity economy. The number 13 is open source. I can sell it, no one owns it and I can modify it to my heart's content. What the majority of people call open source is a big step in the right direction but it is not above complaint.
Most software has an owner. Sure its free, but then again so were those AOL discs.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
My possible answer to the Fermi Paradox.
Imagine the singularity, and how fast it is happening. Now think of the Amish. What would happen to the Amish if transhumanity exploded around them?
Would transhumanity hurt them? Force transhumanity on them? No. We'd take care of them, allow them to live their lives as they choose, and accept strays, maybe even protect them from asteroids and gamma pulses and the like. We would do the right thing.
What if this already happened? What if the stories of Atlantis and the old gods and the pyramids were true to some extent, a prehistoric technological society that reached singularity and abandoned the planet, but saw many dense pockets of humanity obsessed with staying as they were.
Maybe we're living in a nature preserve, fenced and protected and that why SETI sees nothing, and why it looks so very much like we're alone. Maybe we're not. Maybe the grays are zoo visitors. Maybe the angels we claim to see are game wardens, and maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is just the exhibit's exit.
I say we try to find the glass so that we may tap on it.
Sure Occam's razor cuts this to shreds, but the answer can't always be simple, can it? Seems arrogant to think so, given just HOW simple our idea of simple is.
Just a thought.
Would transhumanity hurt them? Force transhumanity on them? No. We'd take care of them, allow them to live their lives as they choose, and accept strays, maybe even protect them from asteroids and gamma pulses and the like. We would do the right thing.
What if this already happened? What if the stories of Atlantis and the old gods and the pyramids were true to some extent, a prehistoric technological society that reached singularity and abandoned the planet, but saw many dense pockets of humanity obsessed with staying as they were.
Maybe we're living in a nature preserve, fenced and protected and that why SETI sees nothing, and why it looks so very much like we're alone. Maybe we're not. Maybe the grays are zoo visitors. Maybe the angels we claim to see are game wardens, and maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is just the exhibit's exit.
I say we try to find the glass so that we may tap on it.
Sure Occam's razor cuts this to shreds, but the answer can't always be simple, can it? Seems arrogant to think so, given just HOW simple our idea of simple is.
Just a thought.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Nationstates.
The Issue
Workers across the nation have gone out on indefinite strike over what they claim are substandard wages in the Book Publishing industry.
The Debate
1. "We are the backbone of this country, and we demand a fair wage rise!" says union leader Zeke Longbottom. "I don't think a 20% increase over two years is too much to ask. Unless the government forces employers to give us our due, we'll shut this whole industry down! Let's see how well Innomina's economy manages without any Book Publishing, huh?"
2. "We pay our employees very generous wages," says employer representative Buy Silk. "Especially when you consider that without us, they'd be OUT ON THE STREET. Hear that, you scumbags? OUT ON THE STREET! Anyway, my point is, if you cave in, you make our entire industry uncompetitive. You can't do that in the global marketplace. It'll hurt the whole country. The best solution, economically speaking, would be to relax industrial laws and allow us to fire troublemakers on the spot."
How about an option that supports PDAs and ebooks?
The Issue
The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.
The Debate
1. "These nuts have got to be stopped," demands concerned consumer Fleur Shiomi. "They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
2. "These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue," pleads Anne-Marie Dodinas. "Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?"
3. "Animals have feelings too!" yelled protestor Al Frederickson, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. "Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!"
4. Economist Beth Jones has an alternative. "You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs."
How about an option to begin development of invitromeats?
Monday, May 12, 2008
My Psych Evaluation
In keeping with my diagnosis of Narcissistic personality disorder, I've decided that my psychological profile is so awesome and important that everyone in the world must see it lol.
Here it is people, my psych evaluation.
I am not impressed. For one I am misquoted several times and we're not talking about tiny errors, we're talking about total sentence confusion and complete misunderstanding.
I'll be adding correction in double parins, the rest is maintained verbatim as far as I know, if you find errors let me know.
Scans of the original document will be linked.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION •
All information and the results herein are based upon information gathered from the claimant and the evaluation process and have not been independently validated. The nature and purpose of the examination were discussed and he agreed to proceed.
CHIEF COMPLAINT:
Brandon Sergent presented as a twenty-eight-year-old, single, Caucasian male who was referred for a Psychological Evaluation by the Department for Disability Determination Services. Per the referral form, he complains of difficulties with "cerebral palsy, deformities of the right band and foot, social anxiety, dyslexia and other phobias." ((This is not at all how I put it, but it is generally accurate)) When asked what was keeping him from maintaining employment, Mr. Sergent stated, "For one, every time. I apply for a job, they look at the handwriting and say, 'Seven year old.' Then they say, 'Next.' I can't drive. Cars freak me out. I don't talk to people. I have pretty significant philosophical differences from most people. The things I like thinking about are large-scale stuff ((This term I used was “macroscopic systems”))...I'm not really interested in small-scale stuff. " Mr. Sergent did not indicate when he first noticed affective difficulties other than "when I . was a toddler." ((She asked me when my problems began directly after a physical series of questions, I assumed she was asking about my CP)) The claimant had been working as a janitor ((maintenance, please.)) in a nursing home. He last worked January, 18, 2008 and quit working because he "was too tall for the floor buffer." ((Yea, there was a lot more too it than that. See my post on the subject. )) He stated his employer then moved him to "mopping. ((I was never moved and I never said I was moved, I was a mop guy from the outset.)) That entailed. walking ten miles a day. I could do that if I had a day to rest in between but I had to do that every day." He stated additionally "I tried to help the residents because they asked me to and it wasn't my job, I think they deserve to sleep through the day if they want to." ((This sentence is a bizarre composite, again see my post)) There have not been further attempts to return to work. ((I've actually applied to several places since then, I can only speculate why I haven't gotten interviews.))
Psychological Evaluation
page 2 of 7
He denies ever receiving disability benefits. He believes that both physiological and psychological difficulties are impairing his ability to sustain employment. ((Put more correctly I believe a combination of them are to blame. No single problem stops me.))
BEHAVIORAL OBSERVATION:
Brandon Sergent presented as a twenty-eight-year-old, single Caucasian male. He is reportedly 6' 4" and weighs 225 pounds. ((I was off by 8 pounds)) He has brown hair and blue eyes. His father drove him to the appointment. He completed the questionnaire and interview alone. He was clean, neat, and appropriately dressed. ((Awww, why thank you)) He was alert and oriented in all spheres. ((Actually the whole thing took places in a series of cubes with doors but whatever.)) No particular difficulties with hearing were noted. ((on the part of the subject anyway, apparently the woman testing me can't hear too well)) He does wear glasses and did so during this evaluation. Eye contact was appropriate. No difficulties were noted with fine- or gross-motor coordination. Mr. Sergent stated ((And showed her, I wear step ins.))he wears a size 12 shoe on his left foot and a size 8.5 shoe on his right foot. However, he was not noted to have difficulty navigating the office and sat and arose with no apparent difficulty. He was noted to be right-hand dominant. His general activity level was age and task appropriate. Suicidal ideation, homicidal ideation, substance abuse, hallucinations, and delusions were all denied. He stated he has had suicidal thoughts in the past, "but never, seriously." Rapport was adequately established for the purpose of this evaluation. ((The woman was a robot.)) Speech was generally relevant and coherent. His affect was appropriate, within appropriate limits and mood-congruent. There were no indications of psychotic process and thought process was unremarkable. Insight and judgment appear good. His overall attitude with the assessment situation was appropriate and he maintained a presentation of good effort and interest. It is believed that Mr. Sergent presented in a manner consistent with his abilities; therefore, the following results are believed to be an accurate estimate of his current level of functioning. ((So I'm not a liar, awesome.))
HISTORY
Brandon Sergent is an only child and was raised in the Ashland, Kentucky area by his biological parents. History is negative for abuse and neglect. He currently resides in the Ashland, Kentucky area with a male roommate. He has never married and has no children. ((Bet they think I'm gay, everyone else my age in this town is married or paying child support.))
He completed high school and reports he received special education classes. ((Only in middle school)) He stated he was in LD classes and AP classes. He attended some college ((56 credit hours and 3 years, she makes it sound like I went there one summer)) and stated he quit because he disagreed with the board. ((Wow, there is SO much more to that, and I explained it in detail.))He reported he was president of the Student Government Association while attending Ashland Community and Technical College. "Anytime I wanted to speak to the students, I had to clear it with the board. ((This is a literal truth, mass emailing was strictly controlled and there was no school paper, and public presentations had to be cleared.)) The comparative religion class put up a Buddhist Shrine and took it down because he (the college president) said it was religious. ((I refer to him as Adkins, because that's his name.)) They also deleted my major twice. I didn't go back. I would love to finish my degree but I will have to do it somewhere else." ((tuition has gone up every single year, and I've exhausted my work study funds and the secondary grant you get for having a high GPA, there aren't scholarships for atheist white single men who are not soldiers, felons, or aspiring CEOs)) He repeated the first grade. ((For “Social reasons”. )) Difficulties with sustaining attention- and behavioral disturbance during his schooling were endorsed. ((ADHD, Ritalin)) He stated be quit school because he "got tired of being beaten up. ((Three broken bones in 1.1 years, all at school. Rednecks HATE being made to look like idiots. Why think when you can hit. )) I got my GED a year before my graduating class graduated.” ((They forced me to wait)) Per his report, he has no difficulty conducting basic financial management necessary to purchase groceries, household goods, and pay bills. ((My credit score is like 618, pretty good for someone with almost no income.)) The claimant had been working as a janitor in a nursing home. He last worked January 18, 2008 and quit working because he "was too tall for the floor buffer." ((Didn't we cover this?)) He stated his employer then moved him to "mopping. That entailed walking ten miles a day, I could do that if I had a day to rest in between but I had to do that every day." He stated additionally "I tried to help the residents because they asked me to and it wasn't my job. I
think they deserve to sleep through the day if they want to."
Brandon Sergent
Psychological Evaluation
Page 3 of 7
There have not been further attempts to return to work. ((Again, no one will interview me.)) He denies ever receiving disability benefits. He believes that both physiological and psychological difficulties are impairing his ability to sustain employment. ((combination))
History is reportedly positive for legal difficulties in that Mr. Sergent stated, "A long time ago...my friend stole some Nintendo 64 controllers and brought them to my house. He got in trouble and I got receiving stolen property. I had to write a letter of apology. Also when I was trying to force myself to learn to drive, I got pulled over. It was totally unrelated to anything I did.. It was the car."
Per the referral, form, he complains of difficulties with "cerebral palsy, deformities of the right hand and foot, social anxiety, dyslexia and other phobias." When asked what was keeping him from maintaining employment, Mr. Sergent stated, "For one, every time I apply for a job, they look at the handwriting and say, 'Seven year old.' Then they say, 'Next.' I can't drive. Cars freak me out. I was in a car wreck as a toddler and everybody else got broken bones, I didn't get any thing but it freaked me out. I don't talk to people. I know it's irrational but I feel like I'm constantly being judged, constantly bothering them. That makes it hard to be proactive and go do anything. I worked three years in a lab and that was heaven. ((Work study))P eople had 'to come to me so I didn't have to worry about bothering them. Every other job...feel like I have to sell them stuff...My last ((actually it was my first)) job... got fired because I wouldn't `up-sell.' I have pretty significant philosophical differences from most people. ((Well, I do.))They'll talk about NASCAR or church and I'm just not interested and I feel like they feel like I'm nervous. I have a book...self-published...I have a blog. The things I like thinking about are large-scale stuff...I'm not really interested in small-scale stuff." ((See above)) Mr. Sergent did not indicate when he first noticed affective difficulties other than "when I was -a toddler:" He stated he has no problem riding in vehicles with others at this time. “I don't want. to be responsible for crushing someone. I don't want to be mangled. I was hoping someone . would try to help me find a job.. I'm a certified locksmith. I put that on my resume and mom said, `well they probably don't trust you because locks won't keep you out.' I get so mad with people. They upset me so much that it messes with my digestive system." ((True)) Mr. Sergent stated he also has Borderline Personality Disorder: When asked how he knew this and if he had been diagnosed . with this disorder, he stated he has never been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but has taken "all those cute tests online." He then continued, "I'm aware that others may see me as that. I have the extremism, black and white perception. I do that, it either is or not. Gray areas are just a way of saying indecision."
History is negative for psychiatric hospitalization and psychotherapy. He is not currently in treatment Mr. Sergent stated at first that he did not think he would benefit from treatment. "I'm too opinionated." He then stated, "I don't know, maybe." He is not prescribed any psychotropic medications. He reportedly was prescribed Ritalin "for a long time" as a child, There is no evidence of self-injurious or suicidal behaviors by the claimant at this time.
Prenatal and developmental histories are remarkable in that he reported he was born "at least" one month early. He stated he was in an incubator for an unknown period of time and that his mother "blames the doctor for my having CP." ((Really, she just mixed and matched a bunch of things I said.)) He stated he was delayed in walking due to "CP on my right side." Additionally, he stated he had several broken bones as a child. (( Three were in high school. )) "Four major broken bones and some toes and ribs. I broke my left wrist two times, my right wrist one time ((Form being pushed.)) and my left arm one time." His report of the behaviors that led to the injuries is striking for someone who was reportedly traumatized as a toddler and is afraid of most things. ((I never said anything even approaching that, I just said I don't like cars and cold calling.))
History is negative for head injury and seizures. There are no known drug allergies. He has had a toenail surgically removed. Other medical conditions reportedly include cerebral palsy. There are no other medications prescribed. He stated he takes Advil for pain, illicit and/or N drug use, past or present, was denied. He consumes approximately one caffeinated beverage daily. He denies the use of tobacco products. He reported alcohol use as "a couple of shots of bourbon when I'm playing cards with friends." He gets exercise by bike riding. "I ride my bike everywhere." Sleep is reportedly ten hours per night. ((Sometimes, sometimes 3-5, honestly, this chick is starting to upset me.))
Appetite appears adequate. ((I have no idea how she would note this expect that maybe I look fat? lol))
Currently, a typical day includes "general maintenance and computer." He does not have any regular, structured activities. Social interactions, per his report, are limited in that "people scare and disgust me. I avoid them. ((I have enough friends and they tend to betray the shit out of you so I'm letting them drop away one at a time until I only ave REAL friends left))" However, he stated he plays cards with friends frequently ((Two friends, and I recently stopped going over there.)). He is psychologically able to conduct daily housecleaning, personal hygiene, and can go to the grocery store independently as needed. Mr. Sergent reports good interpersonal relationships with family members ((The two I see regularly anyway.)) and some prior supervisors and coworkers. He demonstrates the ability to sustain attention to tasks and to complete tasks in a timely fashion. ((Tasks like assembling blocks and and doing simple math.))
TEST RESULTS:
Sergent was administered 11 subtexts of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale-Third Edition (WAIS-III) from which his IQ and Index scores were derived. Mr. Sergent's general cognitive ability is in the High Average range of intellectual functioning, as measured by the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale -Third Edition (WAIS-III). His overall thinking and reasoning abilities exceed those of approximately 87% of adults his age (FSIQ 117; 95% Confidence Interval,113-121). The following are his obtained scores: ((Removed due to OCR errors, see original scans))
His verbal reasoning abilities, as measured by the Verbal IQ, are in the High Average range and above those of approximately 86.0% of his peers (VIQ –116, 95% Confidence Interval I1.1 - 120). On the verbal reasoning subtests, Mr. Sergent obtained his highest score on the Vocabulary subtest. His performance on this subtest differs significantly from his Verbal subtest mean score and suggests that this is the area of most pronounced strength in Mr. Sergent's profile of verbal reasoning abilities. His strong performance on the Vocabulary subtest is much better than that of most adults his age. Mr. Sergent's Verbal Comprehension Index score is generally comparable to his Verbal IQ score. On the Verbal Comprehension. Index, Mr. Sergent's performance is much better than that of his peers. His ability to understand and respond to verbally presented material is equal to or exceeds that of 96.0% of others his age (VCI = 126, 95% Confidence Interval 119-131).
His nonverbal reasoning abilities, as measured by the Performance IQ, are in the High Average range and better than those of approximately 86.0% of his peers (PIQ 116, 95% Confidence Interval 108-122). On the nonverbal reasoning subtests, Mr. Sergent obtained his highest score on the Block Design subtest. His performance differs significantly from his Nonverbal subtest mean score and suggests that this is the area of most pronounced strength in Mr. Sergent's profile of nonverbal reasoning abilities. Much better than that of most of his peers, Mi. Sergent's performance demonstrates very strong abilities on the Block Design subtest; On the Perceptual Organization Index, Mr. Sergent performed better than 92.0% of his peers (POT = 121, 95% Confidence Interval $112-127). However, his abilities are variable, with his performance suggesting unevenly developed skills in this area.
His ability to think with words is comparable to his ability to reason without the use of words. Both Mr. Sergent's verbal reasoning and nonverbal reasoning abilities are in the High Average. range. On the basis of his WAIS-III performance, Mr. Sergent's verbal comprehension skills and
his nonverbal reasoning abilities are comparable. ((Remember this part, its funny later.)) Relative to his peers, Mr. Sargent exhibits. strengths across all domains.
On the WRAT-4, Mr. Sergent obtained a standard score of 110 on Word Reading, which is within the 75th percentile and equivalent to a grade =we of >12.9. On Spelling he obtained a 98
standard score, which is in the 45th percentile and equivalent to grads score of 12.7. The standard score of 93 on Math Computation is equivalent to the 32nd percentile and a grade score of 8.8. With the exception of his score on Math Computation, these scores are concomitant with his obtained WAIS-III scores.
The figures produced for the House-Tree-Person suggest withdrawal tendencies, inadequacy feelings and rejection of the home and home life. ((I suppose thats fair.)) There are also indications of regression and infantile aggressive, assaultive tendencies. ((And yet I haven't been in a fight since middle school.))
The REY 15-Item "Memory" Test is a nonverbal memory task, which is designed to determine the validity of complaints of memory impairment. The task consists of a 10 second exposure to five rows of three characters, and the subject is instructed to recall all of the 15 items in order to provide the impression that the task is difficult Results of research on this task have indicated that with, the exception of those with severe brain injury or mental retardation, individuals recall a minimum three of five sets of characters, If a subject recalls fewer than three sets, it can be deduced that the person has exerted inadequate effort and motivation. Mr. Sergent recalled five of the five sets, which indicates that there was not an attempt to exaggerate his symptoms on this instrument.
Mr. Sergent reports symptoms indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ((But I thought I was superior across all domains, so whats pathological about knowing I'm superior?)) These symptoms include a grandiose sense of self-importance((Can you prove I'm not enlightened? It seems you would have to to justify this positive claim of NPD)), a belief he can only be understood by, or associate with, other special or high-status people((Is that believe not justified by the whole psychiatric community? Do they not sell us the idea that only they have the REAL answers?)), a lack of empathy((Bullshit, my whole driving goal is the elimination of pain for my entire species,)), and a history of interpersonal difficulties. It is the opinion of this clinician that Mr. Sergent's perception of fearing and not liking people is more related to his personality dysfunction than an affective disturbance, but he is interpreting it as affective disturbance. ((To my understanding as a result of looking it up, Affective disturbance (AD) refers to feelings of anxiety or sadness, or both. Do you see the logic trap there? ))
While the WRAT-4 is a screening instrument and is not suitable for diagnosing learning disabilities, his obtained scores on the arithmetic portion of this instrument suggest that possibility and that further testing may reveal he has a mathematics disorder. Therefore a rule-out for Mathematics Disorder is also offered.
DIAL TIC S ON:
Axis I: V71.09 No diagnosis
R/O Mathematics Disorder
Axis 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Axis IH: Per claimant report: Cerebral Palsy
Axis IV: Occupational
Axis V: • GAF: 74
P,ROGNM:
History is negative for psychiatric hospitalization and psychotherapy. He is not currently in treatment. Mr. Sergent stated at first that he did not think he would benefit from treatment "I'm too opinionated." He then stated, "I don't know, maybe." ((Definitely not now since apparently they'd try to “cure” what little self esteem I have left)) He is not prescribed any psychotropic mediation, He reportedly was prescribed Ritalin "for a lone time" as a child. There is no evidence of self-injurious or suicidal behaviors by the claimant at this time. ((Actually I was a cutter and have scars all up my left forearm, eheheh, a relic of my Goth/Emo roots))
Based upon clinical findings, while it is believed his symptoms are primly characterological in nature and will resist change, they are not severe enough to preclude his obtaining and maintaining some form of gainful employment. Prognosis is good.
Based solely upon objective findings and the results of this evaluation, it is the clinical opinion of this examiner that Mr. Sergent is not psychologically limited in his ability to function in an occupational capacity. ((Sweet, wonder if they'd hire me.)) He demonstrates the ability to understand and remember simple instructions, There is no evidence of a disturbance in sustained concentration and/or persistence.
Although Mr. Sergent stated he has a "fear" of people and does not socialize, he had no difficulty conversing with. the clinician and stated he plays cards with friends frequently. ((Two friends whom I've known for 10 years or more)) It is believed that Mr. Sergent has the resources available to adapt and respond appropriately to pressures normally found in the day-to-day work setting.
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Here it is people, my psych evaluation.
I am not impressed. For one I am misquoted several times and we're not talking about tiny errors, we're talking about total sentence confusion and complete misunderstanding.
I'll be adding correction in double parins, the rest is maintained verbatim as far as I know, if you find errors let me know.
Scans of the original document will be linked.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION •
All information and the results herein are based upon information gathered from the claimant and the evaluation process and have not been independently validated. The nature and purpose of the examination were discussed and he agreed to proceed.
CHIEF COMPLAINT:
Brandon Sergent presented as a twenty-eight-year-old, single, Caucasian male who was referred for a Psychological Evaluation by the Department for Disability Determination Services. Per the referral form, he complains of difficulties with "cerebral palsy, deformities of the right band and foot, social anxiety, dyslexia and other phobias." ((This is not at all how I put it, but it is generally accurate)) When asked what was keeping him from maintaining employment, Mr. Sergent stated, "For one, every time. I apply for a job, they look at the handwriting and say, 'Seven year old.' Then they say, 'Next.' I can't drive. Cars freak me out. I don't talk to people. I have pretty significant philosophical differences from most people. The things I like thinking about are large-scale stuff ((This term I used was “macroscopic systems”))...I'm not really interested in small-scale stuff. " Mr. Sergent did not indicate when he first noticed affective difficulties other than "when I . was a toddler." ((She asked me when my problems began directly after a physical series of questions, I assumed she was asking about my CP)) The claimant had been working as a janitor ((maintenance, please.)) in a nursing home. He last worked January, 18, 2008 and quit working because he "was too tall for the floor buffer." ((Yea, there was a lot more too it than that. See my post on the subject. )) He stated his employer then moved him to "mopping. ((I was never moved and I never said I was moved, I was a mop guy from the outset.)) That entailed. walking ten miles a day. I could do that if I had a day to rest in between but I had to do that every day." He stated additionally "I tried to help the residents because they asked me to and it wasn't my job, I think they deserve to sleep through the day if they want to." ((This sentence is a bizarre composite, again see my post)) There have not been further attempts to return to work. ((I've actually applied to several places since then, I can only speculate why I haven't gotten interviews.))
Psychological Evaluation
page 2 of 7
He denies ever receiving disability benefits. He believes that both physiological and psychological difficulties are impairing his ability to sustain employment. ((Put more correctly I believe a combination of them are to blame. No single problem stops me.))
BEHAVIORAL OBSERVATION:
Brandon Sergent presented as a twenty-eight-year-old, single Caucasian male. He is reportedly 6' 4" and weighs 225 pounds. ((I was off by 8 pounds)) He has brown hair and blue eyes. His father drove him to the appointment. He completed the questionnaire and interview alone. He was clean, neat, and appropriately dressed. ((Awww, why thank you)) He was alert and oriented in all spheres. ((Actually the whole thing took places in a series of cubes with doors but whatever.)) No particular difficulties with hearing were noted. ((on the part of the subject anyway, apparently the woman testing me can't hear too well)) He does wear glasses and did so during this evaluation. Eye contact was appropriate. No difficulties were noted with fine- or gross-motor coordination. Mr. Sergent stated ((And showed her, I wear step ins.))he wears a size 12 shoe on his left foot and a size 8.5 shoe on his right foot. However, he was not noted to have difficulty navigating the office and sat and arose with no apparent difficulty. He was noted to be right-hand dominant. His general activity level was age and task appropriate. Suicidal ideation, homicidal ideation, substance abuse, hallucinations, and delusions were all denied. He stated he has had suicidal thoughts in the past, "but never, seriously." Rapport was adequately established for the purpose of this evaluation. ((The woman was a robot.)) Speech was generally relevant and coherent. His affect was appropriate, within appropriate limits and mood-congruent. There were no indications of psychotic process and thought process was unremarkable. Insight and judgment appear good. His overall attitude with the assessment situation was appropriate and he maintained a presentation of good effort and interest. It is believed that Mr. Sergent presented in a manner consistent with his abilities; therefore, the following results are believed to be an accurate estimate of his current level of functioning. ((So I'm not a liar, awesome.))
HISTORY
Brandon Sergent is an only child and was raised in the Ashland, Kentucky area by his biological parents. History is negative for abuse and neglect. He currently resides in the Ashland, Kentucky area with a male roommate. He has never married and has no children. ((Bet they think I'm gay, everyone else my age in this town is married or paying child support.))
He completed high school and reports he received special education classes. ((Only in middle school)) He stated he was in LD classes and AP classes. He attended some college ((56 credit hours and 3 years, she makes it sound like I went there one summer)) and stated he quit because he disagreed with the board. ((Wow, there is SO much more to that, and I explained it in detail.))He reported he was president of the Student Government Association while attending Ashland Community and Technical College. "Anytime I wanted to speak to the students, I had to clear it with the board. ((This is a literal truth, mass emailing was strictly controlled and there was no school paper, and public presentations had to be cleared.)) The comparative religion class put up a Buddhist Shrine and took it down because he (the college president) said it was religious. ((I refer to him as Adkins, because that's his name.)) They also deleted my major twice. I didn't go back. I would love to finish my degree but I will have to do it somewhere else." ((tuition has gone up every single year, and I've exhausted my work study funds and the secondary grant you get for having a high GPA, there aren't scholarships for atheist white single men who are not soldiers, felons, or aspiring CEOs)) He repeated the first grade. ((For “Social reasons”. )) Difficulties with sustaining attention- and behavioral disturbance during his schooling were endorsed. ((ADHD, Ritalin)) He stated be quit school because he "got tired of being beaten up. ((Three broken bones in 1.1 years, all at school. Rednecks HATE being made to look like idiots. Why think when you can hit. )) I got my GED a year before my graduating class graduated.” ((They forced me to wait)) Per his report, he has no difficulty conducting basic financial management necessary to purchase groceries, household goods, and pay bills. ((My credit score is like 618, pretty good for someone with almost no income.)) The claimant had been working as a janitor in a nursing home. He last worked January 18, 2008 and quit working because he "was too tall for the floor buffer." ((Didn't we cover this?)) He stated his employer then moved him to "mopping. That entailed walking ten miles a day, I could do that if I had a day to rest in between but I had to do that every day." He stated additionally "I tried to help the residents because they asked me to and it wasn't my job. I
think they deserve to sleep through the day if they want to."
Brandon Sergent
Psychological Evaluation
Page 3 of 7
There have not been further attempts to return to work. ((Again, no one will interview me.)) He denies ever receiving disability benefits. He believes that both physiological and psychological difficulties are impairing his ability to sustain employment. ((combination))
History is reportedly positive for legal difficulties in that Mr. Sergent stated, "A long time ago...my friend stole some Nintendo 64 controllers and brought them to my house. He got in trouble and I got receiving stolen property. I had to write a letter of apology. Also when I was trying to force myself to learn to drive, I got pulled over. It was totally unrelated to anything I did.. It was the car."
Per the referral, form, he complains of difficulties with "cerebral palsy, deformities of the right hand and foot, social anxiety, dyslexia and other phobias." When asked what was keeping him from maintaining employment, Mr. Sergent stated, "For one, every time I apply for a job, they look at the handwriting and say, 'Seven year old.' Then they say, 'Next.' I can't drive. Cars freak me out. I was in a car wreck as a toddler and everybody else got broken bones, I didn't get any thing but it freaked me out. I don't talk to people. I know it's irrational but I feel like I'm constantly being judged, constantly bothering them. That makes it hard to be proactive and go do anything. I worked three years in a lab and that was heaven. ((Work study))P eople had 'to come to me so I didn't have to worry about bothering them. Every other job...feel like I have to sell them stuff...My last ((actually it was my first)) job... got fired because I wouldn't `up-sell.' I have pretty significant philosophical differences from most people. ((Well, I do.))They'll talk about NASCAR or church and I'm just not interested and I feel like they feel like I'm nervous. I have a book...self-published...I have a blog. The things I like thinking about are large-scale stuff...I'm not really interested in small-scale stuff." ((See above)) Mr. Sergent did not indicate when he first noticed affective difficulties other than "when I was -a toddler:" He stated he has no problem riding in vehicles with others at this time. “I don't want. to be responsible for crushing someone. I don't want to be mangled. I was hoping someone . would try to help me find a job.. I'm a certified locksmith. I put that on my resume and mom said, `well they probably don't trust you because locks won't keep you out.' I get so mad with people. They upset me so much that it messes with my digestive system." ((True)) Mr. Sergent stated he also has Borderline Personality Disorder: When asked how he knew this and if he had been diagnosed . with this disorder, he stated he has never been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but has taken "all those cute tests online." He then continued, "I'm aware that others may see me as that. I have the extremism, black and white perception. I do that, it either is or not. Gray areas are just a way of saying indecision."
History is negative for psychiatric hospitalization and psychotherapy. He is not currently in treatment Mr. Sergent stated at first that he did not think he would benefit from treatment. "I'm too opinionated." He then stated, "I don't know, maybe." He is not prescribed any psychotropic medications. He reportedly was prescribed Ritalin "for a long time" as a child, There is no evidence of self-injurious or suicidal behaviors by the claimant at this time.
Prenatal and developmental histories are remarkable in that he reported he was born "at least" one month early. He stated he was in an incubator for an unknown period of time and that his mother "blames the doctor for my having CP." ((Really, she just mixed and matched a bunch of things I said.)) He stated he was delayed in walking due to "CP on my right side." Additionally, he stated he had several broken bones as a child. (( Three were in high school. )) "Four major broken bones and some toes and ribs. I broke my left wrist two times, my right wrist one time ((Form being pushed.)) and my left arm one time." His report of the behaviors that led to the injuries is striking for someone who was reportedly traumatized as a toddler and is afraid of most things. ((I never said anything even approaching that, I just said I don't like cars and cold calling.))
History is negative for head injury and seizures. There are no known drug allergies. He has had a toenail surgically removed. Other medical conditions reportedly include cerebral palsy. There are no other medications prescribed. He stated he takes Advil for pain, illicit and/or N drug use, past or present, was denied. He consumes approximately one caffeinated beverage daily. He denies the use of tobacco products. He reported alcohol use as "a couple of shots of bourbon when I'm playing cards with friends." He gets exercise by bike riding. "I ride my bike everywhere." Sleep is reportedly ten hours per night. ((Sometimes, sometimes 3-5, honestly, this chick is starting to upset me.))
Appetite appears adequate. ((I have no idea how she would note this expect that maybe I look fat? lol))
Currently, a typical day includes "general maintenance and computer." He does not have any regular, structured activities. Social interactions, per his report, are limited in that "people scare and disgust me. I avoid them. ((I have enough friends and they tend to betray the shit out of you so I'm letting them drop away one at a time until I only ave REAL friends left))" However, he stated he plays cards with friends frequently ((Two friends, and I recently stopped going over there.)). He is psychologically able to conduct daily housecleaning, personal hygiene, and can go to the grocery store independently as needed. Mr. Sergent reports good interpersonal relationships with family members ((The two I see regularly anyway.)) and some prior supervisors and coworkers. He demonstrates the ability to sustain attention to tasks and to complete tasks in a timely fashion. ((Tasks like assembling blocks and and doing simple math.))
TEST RESULTS:
Sergent was administered 11 subtexts of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale-Third Edition (WAIS-III) from which his IQ and Index scores were derived. Mr. Sergent's general cognitive ability is in the High Average range of intellectual functioning, as measured by the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale -Third Edition (WAIS-III). His overall thinking and reasoning abilities exceed those of approximately 87% of adults his age (FSIQ 117; 95% Confidence Interval,113-121). The following are his obtained scores: ((Removed due to OCR errors, see original scans))
His verbal reasoning abilities, as measured by the Verbal IQ, are in the High Average range and above those of approximately 86.0% of his peers (VIQ –116, 95% Confidence Interval I1.1 - 120). On the verbal reasoning subtests, Mr. Sergent obtained his highest score on the Vocabulary subtest. His performance on this subtest differs significantly from his Verbal subtest mean score and suggests that this is the area of most pronounced strength in Mr. Sergent's profile of verbal reasoning abilities. His strong performance on the Vocabulary subtest is much better than that of most adults his age. Mr. Sergent's Verbal Comprehension Index score is generally comparable to his Verbal IQ score. On the Verbal Comprehension. Index, Mr. Sergent's performance is much better than that of his peers. His ability to understand and respond to verbally presented material is equal to or exceeds that of 96.0% of others his age (VCI = 126, 95% Confidence Interval 119-131).
His nonverbal reasoning abilities, as measured by the Performance IQ, are in the High Average range and better than those of approximately 86.0% of his peers (PIQ 116, 95% Confidence Interval 108-122). On the nonverbal reasoning subtests, Mr. Sergent obtained his highest score on the Block Design subtest. His performance differs significantly from his Nonverbal subtest mean score and suggests that this is the area of most pronounced strength in Mr. Sergent's profile of nonverbal reasoning abilities. Much better than that of most of his peers, Mi. Sergent's performance demonstrates very strong abilities on the Block Design subtest; On the Perceptual Organization Index, Mr. Sergent performed better than 92.0% of his peers (POT = 121, 95% Confidence Interval $112-127). However, his abilities are variable, with his performance suggesting unevenly developed skills in this area.
His ability to think with words is comparable to his ability to reason without the use of words. Both Mr. Sergent's verbal reasoning and nonverbal reasoning abilities are in the High Average. range. On the basis of his WAIS-III performance, Mr. Sergent's verbal comprehension skills and
his nonverbal reasoning abilities are comparable. ((Remember this part, its funny later.)) Relative to his peers, Mr. Sargent exhibits. strengths across all domains.
On the WRAT-4, Mr. Sergent obtained a standard score of 110 on Word Reading, which is within the 75th percentile and equivalent to a grade =we of >12.9. On Spelling he obtained a 98
standard score, which is in the 45th percentile and equivalent to grads score of 12.7. The standard score of 93 on Math Computation is equivalent to the 32nd percentile and a grade score of 8.8. With the exception of his score on Math Computation, these scores are concomitant with his obtained WAIS-III scores.
The figures produced for the House-Tree-Person suggest withdrawal tendencies, inadequacy feelings and rejection of the home and home life. ((I suppose thats fair.)) There are also indications of regression and infantile aggressive, assaultive tendencies. ((And yet I haven't been in a fight since middle school.))
The REY 15-Item "Memory" Test is a nonverbal memory task, which is designed to determine the validity of complaints of memory impairment. The task consists of a 10 second exposure to five rows of three characters, and the subject is instructed to recall all of the 15 items in order to provide the impression that the task is difficult Results of research on this task have indicated that with, the exception of those with severe brain injury or mental retardation, individuals recall a minimum three of five sets of characters, If a subject recalls fewer than three sets, it can be deduced that the person has exerted inadequate effort and motivation. Mr. Sergent recalled five of the five sets, which indicates that there was not an attempt to exaggerate his symptoms on this instrument.
Mr. Sergent reports symptoms indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ((But I thought I was superior across all domains, so whats pathological about knowing I'm superior?)) These symptoms include a grandiose sense of self-importance((Can you prove I'm not enlightened? It seems you would have to to justify this positive claim of NPD)), a belief he can only be understood by, or associate with, other special or high-status people((Is that believe not justified by the whole psychiatric community? Do they not sell us the idea that only they have the REAL answers?)), a lack of empathy((Bullshit, my whole driving goal is the elimination of pain for my entire species,)), and a history of interpersonal difficulties. It is the opinion of this clinician that Mr. Sergent's perception of fearing and not liking people is more related to his personality dysfunction than an affective disturbance, but he is interpreting it as affective disturbance. ((To my understanding as a result of looking it up, Affective disturbance (AD) refers to feelings of anxiety or sadness, or both. Do you see the logic trap there? ))
While the WRAT-4 is a screening instrument and is not suitable for diagnosing learning disabilities, his obtained scores on the arithmetic portion of this instrument suggest that possibility and that further testing may reveal he has a mathematics disorder. Therefore a rule-out for Mathematics Disorder is also offered.
DIAL TIC S ON:
Axis I: V71.09 No diagnosis
R/O Mathematics Disorder
Axis 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Axis IH: Per claimant report: Cerebral Palsy
Axis IV: Occupational
Axis V: • GAF: 74
P,ROGNM:
History is negative for psychiatric hospitalization and psychotherapy. He is not currently in treatment. Mr. Sergent stated at first that he did not think he would benefit from treatment "I'm too opinionated." He then stated, "I don't know, maybe." ((Definitely not now since apparently they'd try to “cure” what little self esteem I have left)) He is not prescribed any psychotropic mediation, He reportedly was prescribed Ritalin "for a lone time" as a child. There is no evidence of self-injurious or suicidal behaviors by the claimant at this time. ((Actually I was a cutter and have scars all up my left forearm, eheheh, a relic of my Goth/Emo roots))
Based upon clinical findings, while it is believed his symptoms are primly characterological in nature and will resist change, they are not severe enough to preclude his obtaining and maintaining some form of gainful employment. Prognosis is good.
Based solely upon objective findings and the results of this evaluation, it is the clinical opinion of this examiner that Mr. Sergent is not psychologically limited in his ability to function in an occupational capacity. ((Sweet, wonder if they'd hire me.)) He demonstrates the ability to understand and remember simple instructions, There is no evidence of a disturbance in sustained concentration and/or persistence.
Although Mr. Sergent stated he has a "fear" of people and does not socialize, he had no difficulty conversing with. the clinician and stated he plays cards with friends frequently. ((Two friends whom I've known for 10 years or more)) It is believed that Mr. Sergent has the resources available to adapt and respond appropriately to pressures normally found in the day-to-day work setting.
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Open letter to pretty girls...
Open letter to pretty girls in America who are under the impression that they are not spoiled, and have worked hard and through pluck and determination got where they are and how they look had nothing to do with it.
I don't care how hard you work in America, from a global perspective even abject poverty here is spoiled. No one starves to death or dies of thirst here, ever. No child dies crawling to a UN camp with visions of rice in his head.
If you are a pretty “girl” then even among Americans, you are spoiled. Your face gets you jobs. As a pretty girl you've had your ass kissed your whole life, in ways you're totally unaware of thanks to no contrast. You assume that when I say that I'm attacking you personally, but the irony is that that thought indicates your egotism. It's not about you. It's about society. You wish to live in a Horatio Alger mythology of strength and self determination, but nothing occurs in a vacuum. Where you end up largely depends on what you started with. You are an attractive young woman by definition of who this letter is aimed at. Live up to the advantages this affords you. I don't care what you want to be real. I'm telling you what is real. You got favors and they are so ubiquitous in your life that you cant even see them anymore. Since before you could talk the adults cooed over you and uttered words like beautiful adorable precious, words that are feminine in their lack of use towards men and boys. Well last time I checked these words are gender neutral, why do boys feel uncomfortable being called beautiful adorable and precious? Because they, unlike you, have been conditioned to be working slave hulk soldiers who are handsome tough and strong. So that women don't feel bad ordering them about.
It's like the forest for the trees. You don't see the problem for two clear reasons. 1. You're not built for logic. 2. You're too close to it. You're in the middle you have no perspective or frame of reference. The only time pretty women learn is later in life when they aren't so pretty. These women usually become bitter wives, endlessly worried about some “young slut/whore” stealing “her man”. And deep down she knows this is an extreme possibility because thats how she landed him int eh first place. Half of all marriages fail because men marry for sex, and women marry for money and sex appeal fades, and money gets spent. Marriage is and always has been a work around for prostitution. A tool by which the state and the church sell sex in exchange for power instead of money.
You wish to pretend equality, and then bitch about mistreatment, because if you owned up to your power you'd then have responsibility for its use, which is the LAST thing you want and I don't blame you. If I had your kind of power and then failed as miserably as you have I'd be in denial too. Many of you when pressed about life style justification fall back to individual liberty, and spend the rest of the argument talking about “your” body and “your” choices. But you never seem to understand that your choices do not occur alone. What you do with your body has an impact on society. If you choose to do nothing with it beyond forward your own interests, you must admit to social negligence. Every man is like his father, Yay for the Y. Every man has a father, there for every criminal, every murderer, every rapist statistically speaking was subsidized one generation ago by a woman. Women churn out Barbie dolls and monsters. Men have very little say, and are losing even more.
Walk around outside. Pretty women are usually driving or being driven. You'd think cloning was in full swing. Look at the teens and 20 somethings. It's like the pink toy isle out there. Its all cargo pants and belly shirts. Your greed and jealousy is making society homogeneous. Men only want to be fed and fucked and loved. They'll settle for two out of three, and will do nearly anything to get it. Women have capitalized on this forever, knowing that no matter what happens they'll win. Smart and brutal men, just as in need of loving and fucking and food have capitalized on both so assure they get loved and fucked and fed first. These men are the priests, the kings and the magnates. Worked well didn't it.
Women blame men for war and violence, but competition is the real root, and competition is demanded by women, not men. Competition is greed. Competition is jealousy. Men are unfaithful pigs? Men are willing to share. Men don't use the words slut and whore NEAR as often as women. Put it all together girls. You're shitting in your kitchen, and blaming men for the smell.
Men behaving as they do is in the majority your collective fault because we do not live in a rape culture. After 200 years pretty girls still pick brutal alpha males. The ideal of 100% personal responsibility is absurd, grow up. Life is not fair, and unless we work to change it, it will stay that way. Pretty women complaining about men sounds to me very much like the prince of Saudi Arabia complaining about the poor in Africa. "If only they worked as hard as I have, they'd have 38 diamond studded cars too". Are you getting the point yet?
Bet not, but you're talking shit about me in your head and have been from the start. "What? Thats not what I want to hear. A non-worshiper!? WOMAN HATING SWINE!"
We die and fight because you force us to compete by your inability to share. If men are such simple creatures and all we want is sex and food then it must fall to women to create war. You want the very best man and you want him all to yourself and rather than simply picking on your own judgment you let nature choose for you, by making them fight to the death, sometimes literally, and then you want the winner all to yourself, forever, like a pet, or livestock, that no one else can touch, and you want him to work his whole life to pay for your nest and raise your children. Well OK, but that comes with consequences, not the least of which being War.
Look at the distribution of scientific careers men have ALWAYS worked to impress women. Men have handed you civilization. Quit hating us for what it took to make it.
I'm sorry your ashamed of being a pretty women who by virtue of the way society is currently constructed, is given tons of advantage, but that shame has no impact on that advantage. Even if you consciously try to avoid it, you'll still receive it. People like pretty people and give them preferential treatment in ALL walks of life this is basic sociological and psychological fact. Everything you wish you earned was made easier by how you look. Own up to it.
P.S. I can defend any of this. I have a mind for large scale logical systems above and beyond most people. Instead of assuming I'm just a degenerate and attacking me personally how about you attack the ideas and try to prove me wrong?
Thought not.
I don't care how hard you work in America, from a global perspective even abject poverty here is spoiled. No one starves to death or dies of thirst here, ever. No child dies crawling to a UN camp with visions of rice in his head.
If you are a pretty “girl” then even among Americans, you are spoiled. Your face gets you jobs. As a pretty girl you've had your ass kissed your whole life, in ways you're totally unaware of thanks to no contrast. You assume that when I say that I'm attacking you personally, but the irony is that that thought indicates your egotism. It's not about you. It's about society. You wish to live in a Horatio Alger mythology of strength and self determination, but nothing occurs in a vacuum. Where you end up largely depends on what you started with. You are an attractive young woman by definition of who this letter is aimed at. Live up to the advantages this affords you. I don't care what you want to be real. I'm telling you what is real. You got favors and they are so ubiquitous in your life that you cant even see them anymore. Since before you could talk the adults cooed over you and uttered words like beautiful adorable precious, words that are feminine in their lack of use towards men and boys. Well last time I checked these words are gender neutral, why do boys feel uncomfortable being called beautiful adorable and precious? Because they, unlike you, have been conditioned to be working slave hulk soldiers who are handsome tough and strong. So that women don't feel bad ordering them about.
It's like the forest for the trees. You don't see the problem for two clear reasons. 1. You're not built for logic. 2. You're too close to it. You're in the middle you have no perspective or frame of reference. The only time pretty women learn is later in life when they aren't so pretty. These women usually become bitter wives, endlessly worried about some “young slut/whore” stealing “her man”. And deep down she knows this is an extreme possibility because thats how she landed him int eh first place. Half of all marriages fail because men marry for sex, and women marry for money and sex appeal fades, and money gets spent. Marriage is and always has been a work around for prostitution. A tool by which the state and the church sell sex in exchange for power instead of money.
You wish to pretend equality, and then bitch about mistreatment, because if you owned up to your power you'd then have responsibility for its use, which is the LAST thing you want and I don't blame you. If I had your kind of power and then failed as miserably as you have I'd be in denial too. Many of you when pressed about life style justification fall back to individual liberty, and spend the rest of the argument talking about “your” body and “your” choices. But you never seem to understand that your choices do not occur alone. What you do with your body has an impact on society. If you choose to do nothing with it beyond forward your own interests, you must admit to social negligence. Every man is like his father, Yay for the Y. Every man has a father, there for every criminal, every murderer, every rapist statistically speaking was subsidized one generation ago by a woman. Women churn out Barbie dolls and monsters. Men have very little say, and are losing even more.
Walk around outside. Pretty women are usually driving or being driven. You'd think cloning was in full swing. Look at the teens and 20 somethings. It's like the pink toy isle out there. Its all cargo pants and belly shirts. Your greed and jealousy is making society homogeneous. Men only want to be fed and fucked and loved. They'll settle for two out of three, and will do nearly anything to get it. Women have capitalized on this forever, knowing that no matter what happens they'll win. Smart and brutal men, just as in need of loving and fucking and food have capitalized on both so assure they get loved and fucked and fed first. These men are the priests, the kings and the magnates. Worked well didn't it.
Women blame men for war and violence, but competition is the real root, and competition is demanded by women, not men. Competition is greed. Competition is jealousy. Men are unfaithful pigs? Men are willing to share. Men don't use the words slut and whore NEAR as often as women. Put it all together girls. You're shitting in your kitchen, and blaming men for the smell.
Men behaving as they do is in the majority your collective fault because we do not live in a rape culture. After 200 years pretty girls still pick brutal alpha males. The ideal of 100% personal responsibility is absurd, grow up. Life is not fair, and unless we work to change it, it will stay that way. Pretty women complaining about men sounds to me very much like the prince of Saudi Arabia complaining about the poor in Africa. "If only they worked as hard as I have, they'd have 38 diamond studded cars too". Are you getting the point yet?
Bet not, but you're talking shit about me in your head and have been from the start. "What? Thats not what I want to hear. A non-worshiper!? WOMAN HATING SWINE!"
We die and fight because you force us to compete by your inability to share. If men are such simple creatures and all we want is sex and food then it must fall to women to create war. You want the very best man and you want him all to yourself and rather than simply picking on your own judgment you let nature choose for you, by making them fight to the death, sometimes literally, and then you want the winner all to yourself, forever, like a pet, or livestock, that no one else can touch, and you want him to work his whole life to pay for your nest and raise your children. Well OK, but that comes with consequences, not the least of which being War.
Look at the distribution of scientific careers men have ALWAYS worked to impress women. Men have handed you civilization. Quit hating us for what it took to make it.
I'm sorry your ashamed of being a pretty women who by virtue of the way society is currently constructed, is given tons of advantage, but that shame has no impact on that advantage. Even if you consciously try to avoid it, you'll still receive it. People like pretty people and give them preferential treatment in ALL walks of life this is basic sociological and psychological fact. Everything you wish you earned was made easier by how you look. Own up to it.
P.S. I can defend any of this. I have a mind for large scale logical systems above and beyond most people. Instead of assuming I'm just a degenerate and attacking me personally how about you attack the ideas and try to prove me wrong?
Thought not.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
It's a people thing.
I'm tired of being saddled with all the hate and violence of the world. Yes I have a penis but that does not mean I am ALL MEN. Thus, I an not Hitler or Stalin. But I'm also not Einstein or Gandhi. I'm just this guy, you know?
I'm tired of “female” meaning caring and love and nurturing, and “male” meaning death and hate and fear and conquest. I haven't conquered shit, I haven't killed anyone, every thing about me is an effort o nurture humanity. I hurt when I see my mean ass neighbor crush cater pillars gleefully because somehow she thinks killing is cool. And because she has a vag and I have a prick somehow I'm the monster. The meanest people I know are female hands down, every time. True hatred and cruelty require a depth of rage and hatred and exacting animal lethality, that has been bred out of men. Those of us with some remaining depth of emotion that don't channel it to a life consuming passion for kissing girls asses with a guitar or paintbrush end up being called crazy.
When a man wants kindness he's a wimp, when he wants blood he's a monster, the worthless pig bastard. When a woman wants kindness she's in touch with her nurturing mother emotional side, when she wants blood she's crying out for justice, or she's been victimized. Awww poor thing.
I'm tired of the double standard. I save a caterpillar without some kind of Buddhist/Christian religious mercenary motivation and I'm a weirdo moron, a woman saves one and she's just a big sweety, awwww.
Men are tools, we always have been, we do what you make us do, and we do it well. We look for ways to avoid a fight, thats the whole point of killing. Put “kill without joy” in google.
Killing is about avoiding pain, not causing it. We invented war to try and end fighting, which is a form of torture, for ALL TIME. Every great conqueror had a dream of unification, had a dream of a permanent end to war. The machine gun was invented expressly for this purpose, to save lives. Which is more humane? Beating a man every day for his whole life or simply killing him?
We are agents of compassion in an imperfect world. We pick up the spiders and move the outside, or crush them if your blood lust demands it. We crawl around int eh dark and the cold with steel in our hands and the stink of rot all around. We look the other strange men in the eye and then bury the dagger in their throat. We press the button that we know will probably blow up children. And ultimately we do it all for women. We do it for our mother and our sisters and our daughters and our fathers who where in turn doing ti for their wives and their mothers and their sisters and so on back through time.
We do the dirty work. And yes as a result we'll get dirty. Quit punishing us for it. Let us live in a world of peace, and you'll find we take to it more easily than you'd ever imagine.
A solider is in many ways just a husband or a father or a son. So much so that we view a solider without a picture of some girl on his person or in his heart as a weirdo monster.
Who is to blame? The finger man or the don that ordered the kill?
It's easy to point out a problem, its much harder to work towards a solution. In fact its hard to even know what that solution is.
I'm tired of emotional numbness being strength. I think it takes a stronger mind to feel and still act or more importantly NOT act when needed.
Courage cannot exist without fear.
The only things I attack are lies injustice pain fear death and guilt. I've been punished my whole life by the outside world for my abundance of love and honesty.
Some look at me and see claws and rage, they see guns and knives and strategy. And a clarity of purpose akin to a would be murderer. I do what you all make me do. I've learned that when I am myself people run, not from fear, but from disgust. I show people tiny fragments and they see weakness. I'm the human trapped on an island with cave men screaming at me. I feel like I've plane crashed only to discover the lord of the flies kids having populated a whole country.
And yes, like ALL humans if pushed, I will kill. Preparing to defend myself is pragmatism, not blood lust. This is not a male thing, its a human thing. Sure I get angry, but if thats all it took to make me kill, well, I've have been in prison for some time now.
I'm angry most of the time yes, but you need to see where that comes from. I'm sad, and I'm tired of being treated like how I feel, FEEL, is worthless emotional flotsam because its not coming from behind long flowing hair big bright eyes and a hairless face. I am valid. I exist.
You are all so hurtful and cold, and yet you call me and mine the monsters. I grow tired of it. I cry at the idea of suffering. It doesn't have to be someone I am related to, it doesn't have to be someone I know, it doesn't have to be someone I like, hell it doesn't even have to be someone REAL.
I can cry at star trek and serenity. I'm tired of sitting in the dark with tears in my eyes feeling weak and guilty for my COMPASSION. You monsters can get through the day ignoring the suffering via distraction after distraction I have no such luxury. I cant throw on blinders and think only about my family. Women are encouraged to be brutal nannies, defending their infants to the exclusion of all other life. This works from a microbial perspective, its a great way to plaster the earth with your living money shot, but its a little thin on true human compassion.
We see a white child die of something and we're all choked up, but in other parts of the world women lose their babies who are just as human as ours, so often that the bond between mother and child isn't even formed for years.
I'm tired of being seen as a radical for espousing basic human compassion, and action beyond writing a fucking tiny check or slapping a ribbon on your car.
Breast cancer doesn't matter as much as pancreatic or bile duct cancer. This is not me being a monster this is me caring about more people than most women do. It's a simple numbers game.
Purpose of life=(Joy > sorrow | Life > death )
I'm tired of being damned for looking past myself, past the present, into other people's worlds and actually giving a shit about what I see there.
Seriously. Lay off. It's a people thing, not a gender/race/age thing.
I'm tired of “female” meaning caring and love and nurturing, and “male” meaning death and hate and fear and conquest. I haven't conquered shit, I haven't killed anyone, every thing about me is an effort o nurture humanity. I hurt when I see my mean ass neighbor crush cater pillars gleefully because somehow she thinks killing is cool. And because she has a vag and I have a prick somehow I'm the monster. The meanest people I know are female hands down, every time. True hatred and cruelty require a depth of rage and hatred and exacting animal lethality, that has been bred out of men. Those of us with some remaining depth of emotion that don't channel it to a life consuming passion for kissing girls asses with a guitar or paintbrush end up being called crazy.
When a man wants kindness he's a wimp, when he wants blood he's a monster, the worthless pig bastard. When a woman wants kindness she's in touch with her nurturing mother emotional side, when she wants blood she's crying out for justice, or she's been victimized. Awww poor thing.
I'm tired of the double standard. I save a caterpillar without some kind of Buddhist/Christian religious mercenary motivation and I'm a weirdo moron, a woman saves one and she's just a big sweety, awwww.
Men are tools, we always have been, we do what you make us do, and we do it well. We look for ways to avoid a fight, thats the whole point of killing. Put “kill without joy” in google.
Killing is about avoiding pain, not causing it. We invented war to try and end fighting, which is a form of torture, for ALL TIME. Every great conqueror had a dream of unification, had a dream of a permanent end to war. The machine gun was invented expressly for this purpose, to save lives. Which is more humane? Beating a man every day for his whole life or simply killing him?
We are agents of compassion in an imperfect world. We pick up the spiders and move the outside, or crush them if your blood lust demands it. We crawl around int eh dark and the cold with steel in our hands and the stink of rot all around. We look the other strange men in the eye and then bury the dagger in their throat. We press the button that we know will probably blow up children. And ultimately we do it all for women. We do it for our mother and our sisters and our daughters and our fathers who where in turn doing ti for their wives and their mothers and their sisters and so on back through time.
We do the dirty work. And yes as a result we'll get dirty. Quit punishing us for it. Let us live in a world of peace, and you'll find we take to it more easily than you'd ever imagine.
A solider is in many ways just a husband or a father or a son. So much so that we view a solider without a picture of some girl on his person or in his heart as a weirdo monster.
Who is to blame? The finger man or the don that ordered the kill?
It's easy to point out a problem, its much harder to work towards a solution. In fact its hard to even know what that solution is.
I'm tired of emotional numbness being strength. I think it takes a stronger mind to feel and still act or more importantly NOT act when needed.
Courage cannot exist without fear.
The only things I attack are lies injustice pain fear death and guilt. I've been punished my whole life by the outside world for my abundance of love and honesty.
Some look at me and see claws and rage, they see guns and knives and strategy. And a clarity of purpose akin to a would be murderer. I do what you all make me do. I've learned that when I am myself people run, not from fear, but from disgust. I show people tiny fragments and they see weakness. I'm the human trapped on an island with cave men screaming at me. I feel like I've plane crashed only to discover the lord of the flies kids having populated a whole country.
And yes, like ALL humans if pushed, I will kill. Preparing to defend myself is pragmatism, not blood lust. This is not a male thing, its a human thing. Sure I get angry, but if thats all it took to make me kill, well, I've have been in prison for some time now.
I'm angry most of the time yes, but you need to see where that comes from. I'm sad, and I'm tired of being treated like how I feel, FEEL, is worthless emotional flotsam because its not coming from behind long flowing hair big bright eyes and a hairless face. I am valid. I exist.
You are all so hurtful and cold, and yet you call me and mine the monsters. I grow tired of it. I cry at the idea of suffering. It doesn't have to be someone I am related to, it doesn't have to be someone I know, it doesn't have to be someone I like, hell it doesn't even have to be someone REAL.
I can cry at star trek and serenity. I'm tired of sitting in the dark with tears in my eyes feeling weak and guilty for my COMPASSION. You monsters can get through the day ignoring the suffering via distraction after distraction I have no such luxury. I cant throw on blinders and think only about my family. Women are encouraged to be brutal nannies, defending their infants to the exclusion of all other life. This works from a microbial perspective, its a great way to plaster the earth with your living money shot, but its a little thin on true human compassion.
We see a white child die of something and we're all choked up, but in other parts of the world women lose their babies who are just as human as ours, so often that the bond between mother and child isn't even formed for years.
I'm tired of being seen as a radical for espousing basic human compassion, and action beyond writing a fucking tiny check or slapping a ribbon on your car.
Breast cancer doesn't matter as much as pancreatic or bile duct cancer. This is not me being a monster this is me caring about more people than most women do. It's a simple numbers game.
Purpose of life=(Joy > sorrow | Life > death )
I'm tired of being damned for looking past myself, past the present, into other people's worlds and actually giving a shit about what I see there.
Seriously. Lay off. It's a people thing, not a gender/race/age thing.
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