Transformers: For The Record.

This is a repost from my SU blog. It is in response to yet another film school wannabe trashing Michael Bay's Transformers. A phenomena that royally pisses me off for some reason.

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Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't like you elitist shit bag.

Sure, I could have done with out stripper mistress car thief...

...producing yet another round of dick hoops, and the army apparently being required for Optimus Prime to save the day, (LMAO) but the movie other then that kicked ass, for one simple reason.

It was a bunch of robots fighting!

I don't know what you did with transformers, but I made mine fly around and kick eachother's asses. And I'll tell you, the plot behind the epic duels consisted of little more than one robot deciding that the other needs to DIE DIE DIE SHOOOM POW! BSHHHHHHHH WHOOOMMMMMmmmm... PEW PEW PEW,

Savvy?

I did not go to see transformers expecting gone with the wind, ok? And if you did, you need your eyes scooped out with a melon baller.

Speaking as a child of the 80s, and an only child at that, which means plenty of toy time, the movie fucking rocked.

I still get misty seeing bumblebee in his full glory trying to communicate, and then later asking to stay.

Come on, was that not EVERY boy's fantasy? Your own transformer?

Sure, I would have loved a CGI shot for shot remake of the cartoon movie, Unicron would have been godlike, but Spock is probably busy,Orson wells is dead, and the music of today SUCKS.

Really listen to the lyrics of the music from the first transformers movie, sure it was 80s dated hair metal goodness, but it was all about inner strength and fighting the good fight, not like today's putrid vomit about how best to acquiesce to unreasonable princess demands, or generally excel at being a preening douche bag.

All things considered, Bay's movie rocked. And I can't wait to see the next one.

"But... Its not marketed as trendy and different. Its not alienating my chosen counter group. I can't talk about it seeing it first at Cannes over my soy mocha latte no foam half cafs. And more then four people not like me like it, therefor it sucks."

Those that disagree suck cock by choice. Get off my internet, you whiny, jaded, spoiled, insecure, consumer slaves.

If you hate the movie so much, without even seeing it I might add, news flash, it's not mandatory.

P.S. I captured and hosted the below image myself. If you can look at that and tell other people it sucks with a straight face, I suggest running for congress given that you clearly have the required brain damage.



Win.