Merry Xmas!

Sometimes its shocking how things turn out.

I got a hot chocolate mug, a SWEET hoodie and a gal bladder attack this xmas.

And would you believe it as of this moment I'm having a damn fine xmas.

1. The mug and hoodie were very thoughtful.

2. I generally feel really guilty come xmas time because I have no job and no money.

3. I feel even more guilty because the people that love me enough to get me gifts I'd rather not take from, and the bastards that owe me money never even send so much as a card... with my money in it.

4. I had some muscle relaxers left over from my emergency room visit for my last gal bladder attack, so while I was literally writhing in agony for I'm not sure how long, it had to have been under an hour. Having had previous attacks last for several hours this means a lot to me.

Now I'm the first to point out the selective reasoning whenever people point out a 99% catastrophe as a miracle. You know, bus of toddlers goes over a cliff, one lives, invariably someone calls that one living a miracle. I myself say why toss it over at all? Why not miracle a total prevention? Personally a floating buss being gently placed back on the road would be more effective in conveying god's love, but I digress.

I am genuinely happy that I am no longer in pain. I also feel no malice that I was in pain. I wonder if that's just me being seriously stupid, or cowardly, or somehow noble.

Intellectually I know that I could have been placed in this state of mind without the pain, but, I'm happy just the same.