Saturday, May 3, 2008

It's a people thing.

I'm tired of being saddled with all the hate and violence of the world. Yes I have a penis but that does not mean I am ALL MEN. Thus, I an not Hitler or Stalin. But I'm also not Einstein or Gandhi. I'm just this guy, you know?

I'm tired of “female” meaning caring and love and nurturing, and “male” meaning death and hate and fear and conquest. I haven't conquered shit, I haven't killed anyone, every thing about me is an effort o nurture humanity. I hurt when I see my mean ass neighbor crush cater pillars gleefully because somehow she thinks killing is cool. And because she has a vag and I have a prick somehow I'm the monster. The meanest people I know are female hands down, every time. True hatred and cruelty require a depth of rage and hatred and exacting animal lethality, that has been bred out of men. Those of us with some remaining depth of emotion that don't channel it to a life consuming passion for kissing girls asses with a guitar or paintbrush end up being called crazy.

When a man wants kindness he's a wimp, when he wants blood he's a monster, the worthless pig bastard. When a woman wants kindness she's in touch with her nurturing mother emotional side, when she wants blood she's crying out for justice, or she's been victimized. Awww poor thing.

I'm tired of the double standard. I save a caterpillar without some kind of Buddhist/Christian religious mercenary motivation and I'm a weirdo moron, a woman saves one and she's just a big sweety, awwww.

Men are tools, we always have been, we do what you make us do, and we do it well. We look for ways to avoid a fight, thats the whole point of killing. Put “kill without joy” in google.

Killing is about avoiding pain, not causing it. We invented war to try and end fighting, which is a form of torture, for ALL TIME. Every great conqueror had a dream of unification, had a dream of a permanent end to war. The machine gun was invented expressly for this purpose, to save lives. Which is more humane? Beating a man every day for his whole life or simply killing him?

We are agents of compassion in an imperfect world. We pick up the spiders and move the outside, or crush them if your blood lust demands it. We crawl around int eh dark and the cold with steel in our hands and the stink of rot all around. We look the other strange men in the eye and then bury the dagger in their throat. We press the button that we know will probably blow up children. And ultimately we do it all for women. We do it for our mother and our sisters and our daughters and our fathers who where in turn doing ti for their wives and their mothers and their sisters and so on back through time.

We do the dirty work. And yes as a result we'll get dirty. Quit punishing us for it. Let us live in a world of peace, and you'll find we take to it more easily than you'd ever imagine.

A solider is in many ways just a husband or a father or a son. So much so that we view a solider without a picture of some girl on his person or in his heart as a weirdo monster.

Who is to blame? The finger man or the don that ordered the kill?

It's easy to point out a problem, its much harder to work towards a solution. In fact its hard to even know what that solution is.

I'm tired of emotional numbness being strength. I think it takes a stronger mind to feel and still act or more importantly NOT act when needed.

Courage cannot exist without fear.

The only things I attack are lies injustice pain fear death and guilt. I've been punished my whole life by the outside world for my abundance of love and honesty.

Some look at me and see claws and rage, they see guns and knives and strategy. And a clarity of purpose akin to a would be murderer. I do what you all make me do. I've learned that when I am myself people run, not from fear, but from disgust. I show people tiny fragments and they see weakness. I'm the human trapped on an island with cave men screaming at me. I feel like I've plane crashed only to discover the lord of the flies kids having populated a whole country.

And yes, like ALL humans if pushed, I will kill. Preparing to defend myself is pragmatism, not blood lust. This is not a male thing, its a human thing. Sure I get angry, but if thats all it took to make me kill, well, I've have been in prison for some time now.

I'm angry most of the time yes, but you need to see where that comes from. I'm sad, and I'm tired of being treated like how I feel, FEEL, is worthless emotional flotsam because its not coming from behind long flowing hair big bright eyes and a hairless face. I am valid. I exist.

You are all so hurtful and cold, and yet you call me and mine the monsters. I grow tired of it. I cry at the idea of suffering. It doesn't have to be someone I am related to, it doesn't have to be someone I know, it doesn't have to be someone I like, hell it doesn't even have to be someone REAL.

I can cry at star trek and serenity. I'm tired of sitting in the dark with tears in my eyes feeling weak and guilty for my COMPASSION. You monsters can get through the day ignoring the suffering via distraction after distraction I have no such luxury. I cant throw on blinders and think only about my family. Women are encouraged to be brutal nannies, defending their infants to the exclusion of all other life. This works from a microbial perspective, its a great way to plaster the earth with your living money shot, but its a little thin on true human compassion.

We see a white child die of something and we're all choked up, but in other parts of the world women lose their babies who are just as human as ours, so often that the bond between mother and child isn't even formed for years.

I'm tired of being seen as a radical for espousing basic human compassion, and action beyond writing a fucking tiny check or slapping a ribbon on your car.

Breast cancer doesn't matter as much as pancreatic or bile duct cancer. This is not me being a monster this is me caring about more people than most women do. It's a simple numbers game.

Purpose of life=(Joy > sorrow | Life > death )

I'm tired of being damned for looking past myself, past the present, into other people's worlds and actually giving a shit about what I see there.

Seriously. Lay off. It's a people thing, not a gender/race/age thing.

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About

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I'm a politically and culturally subversive author with obsessive tendencies and a lot of free time. I feel a sense of personal responsibility for the fate of my species. My writing is the result.

My primary blog is at http://underlore.com but this G+ profile is a far more active representation of my viewpoint.

Generally I feel the answer to society's ills are technological in nature not political or cultural.

Having said that, I do have political positions of course and I strongly feel that we need to embrace nuclear power and deploy a universal basic income.