Workers across the nation have gone out on indefinite strike over what they claim are substandard wages in the Book Publishing industry.
1. "We are the backbone of this country, and we demand a fair wage rise!" says union leader Zeke Longbottom. "I don't think a 20% increase over two years is too much to ask. Unless the government forces employers to give us our due, we'll shut this whole industry down! Let's see how well Innomina's economy manages without any Book Publishing, huh?"
2. "We pay our employees very generous wages," says employer representative Buy Silk. "Especially when you consider that without us, they'd be OUT ON THE STREET. Hear that, you scumbags? OUT ON THE STREET! Anyway, my point is, if you cave in, you make our entire industry uncompetitive. You can't do that in the global marketplace. It'll hurt the whole country. The best solution, economically speaking, would be to relax industrial laws and allow us to fire troublemakers on the spot."
How about an option that supports PDAs and ebooks?
The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.
1. "These nuts have got to be stopped," demands concerned consumer Fleur Shiomi. "They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
2. "These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue," pleads Anne-Marie Dodinas. "Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?"
3. "Animals have feelings too!" yelled protestor Al Frederickson, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. "Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!"
4. Economist Beth Jones has an alternative. "You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs."
How about an option to begin development of invitromeats?